Passion

Supposedly my friend said she is one American Idol tonight. I started watching at about 9.37 if anyone tapes it please let me know. Supposedly she was dancing along to the music. Soooo pissed i watched a rerun of lost to begin with!! She was on some televised thingie. I don't think she was in the audience. Please tell me someone caught this!!

Sorry that the subject is so intense but i felt it was fitting. Someone very close to my heart. Someone who graduated college just a year ago is fighting the biggest battle of his life. I posted an earlier entry about his health and now it has taken an even bigger turn for the worse. I have been told that he probably won't make it through the week and that they funeral may happen here in Orlando on campus. All of us love him so much and I know I have prayed for him to stay alive and to fight. Henry V is going on at the moment and I dont know what all of his close friends are going to do. It will be devastating. How will we carry on? I know I can handle death...it will be hard, but I can do it. After all i dealt wih my mom having 2 brain surgeries when i was 12. But there are a few of my friends where this news would just kill them...i dont know if they could continue with their life or with the show. Its kind of like the power of the human condition. How much can we take before we crack? If he dies I may go to counsling but i'm not that type of person...i would much rather talk it out with a friend. I hate how I try to cover up what i feel but thats what I have learned to do. So i tell all of you....please pray or do whatever you do. Patrick is an amazing guy he needs our support even from people who dont know him. I'll keep posted.

Update: Patrick Clark passed away this afternoon from cancer. He will be missed.

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"To be somebody, you must last." -Ruth Gordon
March 28th, 2007 (06:32 pm)
current location: Ma masison
current song: TV in the background...dumb, new reality show.
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Posted by: Courtney (if_ifell)
Posted at: March 9th, 2007 01:22 pm (local)

1. Can you cook? Yeah I guess, enough to get by..we'll find out next year when i have to live without a meal plan!

2. What was your dream growing up? To be an actress: I am working on that now my majoring in it college and then i will either go to grad school or work in a theatre and build up my resume..but i was already in a movie so does that count??

3. What talent do you wish you had? Be able to play the guitar or violin and be a better piano player.

4. Favorite place? NYC, London, Paris

5. Favorite vegetable? broccali (sic), asparagus, snow peas...i like all vegetables really

6. What was the last book you read? The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson

7. What zodiac sign are u ? Leo!!

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? I had the usual in the ear but then they closed up so now...but i may get a tatto but i am too indecisive right now to pick one

9. Worst Habit? I'm very hard on myself and I can be a really big bitch.

10. Do we know each other outside of lj? Not really but we are friends on myspace.

11. What is your favorite sport? Dancing, tennus, horseback riding.

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude? Um sometimes i can be really negative but i am really trying to make the effort to be optimistic

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? I would probably talk about theatre and acting and probably Helen.

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? My mom had brain surgery when i was 12 and then my aunt got breast cancer recently and now by first boyfriend in college is battling cancer...needless to say it has been pretty crappy

15. Tell me one weird fact about you: Um I am double jointed and I performed in the Edinurgh Fringe Festival when i was 14!

16. Do u have any pets? YES!! I have a westie named Winston Denison Finch...named after the character in Out of Africa my moms fav movie

17. Do u know how to do the macerana? Sure do!

18. What time is it where u are now? 3:57 pm

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Yeah...go to Halloween Horror nights in Orlando, Fl and then they are really scary!!

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? Um i want to be little skinnier even tough i am a size 2...i know its crazy but i'm an actor so its weird.

21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? I would be your conscience unless its something really fun and then i could probably be your partner in crime

22. What color eyes do you have? Green

23. Ever been arrested? Almost for underage drinking but luckily no

24. Bottle or Draft? I love beer but prefer wine but if i had to choose i would say either it depends on the beer.

25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? I would take my mom on a trip to Europe, I would go shopping and buy lots of stuff and then I would save the rest or help my mom out.

26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? Sugar-free Orbit Bubblemint Whitening (I like this one too!)

27. What's your favorite bar to hang at? I don't have time to really go out clubbing or to a bar and plus i'm not 21 yet but i do go to I-bar sometimes or Fusion to go clubbing but lately that's a rarity.

28. Do you believe in ghosts? I don't know yet.

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Go online and look at stuff Helen has done, watch television, or dance...hell relax is the big thing now!

30. Do you swear a lot? Fuck yeah!

31. Biggest pet peeve? Peoplpe who are rude, self absorbed, arrogant, people who don't know how to hold a fork and knife right..drives me crazy.

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Hmmmm...talented!

33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? I'm posting this, so yes....

Ok so i am officially on spring break...sort of because i have to go to rehearsal tonight but i go home tomorrow. I went to the passport place and sent it in so i can get it before i go to Bavaria this summer!! I am also getting the Helen Mirren haircut over the break is well...i'll have pics when i get back hopefully if i can learn how to post a picture...lol.

I read a blog on myspace about how someone very close to me's health is getting worse. He is dealing with cancer and the fact that someone who is such a great person is so sick makes me want to fall apart. Supposedly he is on lifesupport because one of his lungs does not work and he cannot breath on his own...he is also unconscious and he is starting more chemo which can cause his liver to fail. I just hate this. He was the first guy i dated in college and the fact that he's so sick just hurts. I want to ball my eyes out but i can't. It just sucks because my aunt also had breast cancer and i just think...shit...why, God, why. I mean when I was 12 my mom had brain surgery for crying out loud. If he gets worse I don't know what i'll do. I know i shouldnt be writing this because i could just make things worse and maybe i could get my facts wrong but i need to blog and i have only one friend on here who goes to the same school i do. I wish i had the money to watch a Helen movie...maybe that would make me feel better...but no i dont own one because i am too broke to buy one off of amazon. SHIT. Anyway I'm done ranting and if someone actually reads this and comments I will be shocked. So if you do read this...say a prayer for him or anyone that is battling cancer. Please...

So for all those that do not know me I am an actor. I heard about this opportunity to be an extra in a movie that was being filmed at my college which is Rollins College and I also live in Orlando. I thought why not skip class and be in a movie and make money and gain experience. So this movie is called Sydney White and it stars Amanda Bynes and Matt Long and other people like Samm Levine and Danny Strong. My day started out early...6 am and we began filming a classroom scene at around 7:45. This lasted until around 1-1:30. Filming two different scenes. In the first scene i was right behind the girl from Aquamarine who is Sara Paxton adn i was in the same row as Amanda. So i know i will at least be in some sort of shot in that scene. Then another scene was shot and i was moved around and hopefully i will be in that classroom scene as well. After that we shot scenes outside and I got picked to walk in front of the camera...i am wearing a rasberry colored long sleeve shirt, btw! ;) Anyway i do this and then the 1st AD takes down my number and i hope this means i could possibley be credited because that could be awesome. Anyway after about like 8 or 9 takes i move on to this other scene where i am walking in the background and then I get the chance to walk in front of the camera again, this time in a greenish polo and brown juicy jacket. So i am doing this for about two takes or so and then the AD and i guess the camera guy start pointing at me and my brown jacket, and i'm like "Do you want me to take it off?" and there like, "No, keep it on and come over here to be in te background of this shot. So here I am thinking hell yeah I am getting a lot of screen time as an extra. I sat on bench that was around a tree with this guy who was supposed to be my boyfriend and we are looking at a book and laughing, like lovers do....lol. So Amanda and Matt Long are in this scene. Hopefully I will be able to see myself. I got paid a decent amount but this wasn't about the money. It was about the experience and the chance for me to be in a movie and to put this on my resume. Being an extra isn't easy...it was a long day 11 and a half hours of standing and walking. They will be back to film again in spring break but in the time being they are filming at another campus called UCF. I don't think i can reveal much more but I did get to meet and take a picture with Amanda Bynes and if possible I will try to upload it...she looks good...me, not so much...i think my eyes are partially closed! Anyway I got to meet the guy from Not Another Teen Movie...the asian kid and I sort of talked to the other guys just briefly. So that's my experience making my first movie...hit me up if you want more details!!!

I got the Assistant Director position for Henry V. This means i am selling my soul for the next 8 weeks but i am soooo happy to be part of this show i am going to learn so much as an actor...even though i am not acting in the show! I want to learn stuff behind the scenes and i feel like this is such a great opportunity. This director is amazing. He is phenominal and he is going to push me really hard but i know it will be worth it in the end. I guess i am gonna have to stock up on gummy bears from now on. On another note, all of these Helen pictures i have been viewing are beautiful. The Vanity Fair issue is great adn i have been searching every where for the AARP mag and i made my mom ask people at her work. She thinks i am weird. Most of my friends are like Helen who? The Oscars are going to be crazy for me because i am going to be freaking out and she better win or else i am going into a deep state of depression. I also love how Dame Judi bet money that our lovely Helen would win!

This is the second night in a row where the person who is next to me invites her other friends on the floor over and they make lots of noise until 3 in the morning. I have a huge history test tomorrow that i need to study for but i can't study for it because they are soooo damn loud. It's just frustrating and I don't appreciate how they dont take into consideration taht some people actually give a damn about their grades in college. I personally asked them to be quiet because i was studying but they still talked loud and I just want to scream. I seriously wish I had a Helen Mirren DVD or video to watch to calm me down. I probably will be failing this exam because one i hate history and two i cannot concentrate to study for it!!!

I still do not know who the Asisstant Director is for Henry V. The director hasn't contacted me and I am said because i really hope it is me, but I don't know. I just want to know because rehearsals start in two weeks and i need to prepare and figure out how to organize my life in those 8 weeks of rehearsal.

I have started back to school and am busy with getting ready for recruitment week for my sorority. I am not in any shows this semester which will be ok because i need to focus on Chemistry and History. I may work as AD on Henry V if my director lets me. Anyway, lately I have been mesmorized by Helen Mirren. She is so lovely and beautiful and I really think she is by new idol, as well as Meryl Streep. Screw the young actresses who party too much...i wanna be like Helen. She better win that Oscar!!!

I have been sooo busy this week it is not even funny. Script Analysis has been hard and I will be pulling several all nighters. I have been rehearsing for several of my directing scenes and that his been going well. I can't wait until next week when i might have more free time!

So here I am updating my livejournal. It is my second semester and I am still really busy. Script Analysis is going well and my foot is healing thankfully. We got some great girls this semester from sorority recruitment. I can't wait to go through big/lil week. I saw a great dress at target and I totally want to go get it. I dont have a car so that really sucks. Anyway everything is pretty good with me...no boys are knocking down my door but hey its ok i guess. Peace

So i just finished my french exam...it was hardcore. I have one more exam today at 11 then I am done for today. I then must study for my film exam tomorrow and clean my fucking room which is a mess. I also have to begin my fundamentals of theatrical design project which is due Thursday at 5. I am like freaking out. Anyway...i need a nap...i only got three hours of sleep last night becuase i was so nervous about the french final. Peace out bizatches!!

Ok so it has been ages since I have updated. I apologize I have been seriously busy this semester. I got into a play entitled Pack of Lies and I am Sally a spy. We open next week which is frightening but I think it is going to be a really great show. Lately I have been obsessed with watching Firefly on DVD and surfing the net on facebook and myspace as well as searching about on all things Alan Tudyk. I know its lame but i like him...he's a great actor. Anyway it is very late for me and I need to go to bed. I will update as much as I can when time permits.

So this semester has been insane. Film class is kicking my mother fucking ass! It sooo going to bring down my GPA and that isn't cool. I joined AOTT and I am almost initiated. I can't wait because i don't have to worry about all that stuff. I need to send in my courses but i have to talk with my advisor first...ahhhhhh. I just want to be happy. Anyway I don't really have much to write about except that I got a bid to live in the house in a single...yeah baby!1! well I am off.Peace